It’s been almost seven months since the unexpected death of dancer/TV personality Stephen “tWitch” Boss. For the first time since the news, his mother, Connie Boss Alexander, opens up about grappling with the loss.
“Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday,” she told People. “And then other times it feels like it’s been so long since I’ve seen him.”
Though “some days are better than others,” Alexander says she still finds herself picking up the phone to text her late son, who died by suicide at the age of 40.
“If we weren’t talking every day, we were texting. He was my heart,” she said.
The 59-year-old mom of two other sons said she battled with the reality of the situation, asking herself at times, “Did I miss something? Did he mean something when he said this?”
“It was just very, very shocking,” she added.
She told People that she’s unsure when or if she’ll ever accept the loss. For now, she may be at a point of realization.
“When I wake up in the morning, it does hit me that, ‘oh my God, he really is not physically here.’ But then in my head I can hear him say, ‘Hey, Mom. I’m okay.'”
Those memories and an abundance of many others will help Alexander through the difficult time.
“When I think about him, I try not to dwell on how he left this earth,” she says. “This is not totally the end. That is where my peace comes from.”
If you are in crisis or know someone in crisis, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, by calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or by visiting 988lifeline.org. You can also contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.
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